Hmm, an interesting topic. This could also be procrastination and we all do this from time to time where we choose the safety of comfort of the familiar rather than step into change and explore something new. There is this lure which is misleading that allows us to believe that it is a more desirable option to stay in our lane, to continue doing the same things that we have been doing because it’s warm in that little nook; it’s a well trodden path; a pair of comfortable shoes so to speak. In other words, we know it so well that in some ways we are more comfortable there. And it seems easier to stay there than to try something new.
Now what I love about hypnotherapy is it allows you the opportunity to experience yourself differently. Experience the ideas you have about the world differently. Now hold that thought; if I were to go about my life and never really truly consider at the deeper level, that all the best things that are yet to happen to me live in the uncertain spaces of my future and the really juicy, good stuff exists on the other side of stepping through trying something new then I’m quite likely to stay on that one path that doesn’t really work that well for me and avoid any change because it feels comfortable. The problem with this is that the world does not respond to what you want, your thoughts or your wishes, it responds to your actions and here’s where people get stuck. They wait until they feel like doing something before they act on doing something and it’s quite likely that feeling will never come so they just don’t act and they don’t really think too deeply about it. Hope is for people who don’t have a plan, you can hope and wish and want for something as much as you like but the world is not going to deliver it to you if you don’t act on it. You can have the best idea in the world inside your head. But if it stays in your head, it’s worth nothing. So it really does come down to your actions. What you do. So you need to avoid the avoidance. Don’t wait until you feel like doing something that feeling is not coming. When you start to feel good about something it’s on the other side of having done it. And when you consistently take action the good feelings follow.
When you change, there is an element of discomfort that comes with change. It’s a natural human instinct to avoid discomfort. It’s not something people want. We don’t wake up in the morning and say hey, I’m going to really look forward to some discomfort today. We avoid it. It’s a natural human instinct. But we have to really pay attention to that inner distinction to know which discomfort is good discomfort, which discomfort is worth paying attention to and having the wisdom to know the difference. We then need to step through any discomfort that we can begin to recognise is good for us. Just because we feel something doesn’t really make it valid. Not all of our feelings are valid. And again, we need to check in with our internal distinctions to be able to assess is this feeling worth paying attention to? Or is this something I need to let go and just take an action. Just remember that you are always responsible for you and you are never responsible for someone else. You are responsible for the thoughts and feelings that you pay attention to and the actions that you take. But that’s where your responsibility starts and stops. You are not responsible for anyone or anything outside of you. So you can deliver whatever it is you need to deliver. You can have the conversation. You can get through the task that you don’t want to do. And you can seek out support, help where you need it. But WILL you? We can all do these things but will we do these things. it really comes down to if you’re going to avoid the avoidance or trade away your life for the illusion of comfort
This is all great to know, however…
WHATS YOUR PLAN?
Hope is for people who don’t have a plan…
Here are three easy steps to help you achieve your goals;
1. If we break things down into smaller steps it always makes avoidance a less likely option. Sometimes we procrastinate or avoid things because we set ourselves these monumental tasks that are so big we end up overwhelmed. Some basic strategy to give yourself a better process is to break things down into smaller steps, bite sized pieces and chip away a little bit at a time. Eventually you will have completed the monumental task. By breaking it down into smaller steps, it becomes manageable, it becomes doable. It becomes something that seems easy enough to start tackling and we tend to consistently take action when things are more manageable.
2. Accountability is also something that works really well. If you maybe have someone hold you to account perhaps; if that’s telling other people or if it’s holding yourself to account. Whatever it might be that works for you.
3. Do the thing you least want to do for the day first. Whatever it is you least want to do, make that the thing you do first in the day. Once you have achieved that task, whether it’s that phone call, the conversation, the paperwork, whatever it is, once you have achieved it you release that negative energy. You have freed yourself from the burden of this task that you least want to do. The flow on effect lightens your load, it lightens your energy and it creates space for you to be able to move on.
So perhaps you might want to think about what it is that you are avoiding? What behaviors are you portraying that enable you to avoid as you anticipate unpleasant or painful situations or events? Avoidance can come in many forms: procrastination, rumination; it can make us a little passive aggressive at times. These are coping mechanisms that we may consciously or unconsciously use to avoid taking action to avoid facing what is uncomfortable.
The trouble with this is avoidance doesn’t make it go away. Avoidance doesn’t fix anything. It usually just makes things worse. It just makes the problem bigger. It makes the emotion that we tie to it stronger.
Avoid the avoidance and take considered action. Action speaks louder than words. In fact, Action speaks louder than everything. So what is it that you’re going to take action on today?