You are never going to feel ready. A common theme in my clinic is this avoidance of taking action, and the reality is that it stems from this innate desire to be comfortable. We humans are designed to steer towards comfort. We therefore wait until we feel comfortable to take action in our lives. There is some misconception that there is going to be this point in time somewhere in our future where we will magically be ready to take the action we have been avoiding for so long. Whether it’s joining a gym, changing your job/career, starting a relationship, whatever it is for you, the uncomfortable truth is that you will never feel ready for it and no one is coming to save you. We hold onto hope that someone will come along to inspire us, a mentor or a saviour of some description and the reality is it’s probably never going to happen.
This illusion of readiness that we hold onto implies that we will somehow at some stage feel prepared to undertake what we want to achieve. We wait for this feeling of confidence to appear and only then can we say to ourselves “It’s go time”. This is all an illusion that we hold onto and it permits us to stay comfortable, to stay in our lane with what we know, however, the reality is that the feeling may never come, so the question is; are you prepared to be a pedestrian of life for the rest of your life for that safety of comfort that you crave? This waiting game until you feel comfortable is paralysing and you can run procrastination for a very, very long time and still, the confidence to take action is not present. The truth is that the confidence to take action in your life does not come before you take an action, it comes after you have taken action. It’s a process of consistent action and with time confidence appears. Therefore the remedy to this procrastination is to act whether you feel like it or not. Sometimes listening to your feelings is a great idea and sometimes it’s not. Just because you feel something doesn’t make it true. Readiness is a journey, not a destination. If you think back to all the times in your life where you have achieved something it came through your action.
Often perfectionism can run alongside procrastination; they are great bedfellows. People who have perfectionistic tendencies can avoid taking action for fear of getting something wrong or just not being good enough. The antidote to this is to start to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Embrace it as a necessary part of growth because you can’t grow without change and you can’t change without some discomfort. To recognise that there is no such thing as success without failure and that they go hand in hand is key. The trick is to celebrate your failures as a step closer to success and acknowledge and praise yourself that you are having a go. The truth is the only people I know who have never really failed are the people who have never really tried. The pursuit of readiness is an easy trap to fall into however it stops you from living the life you want to live and you deserve the life you want to live as much as the next person. How much of your life are you willing to sacrifice to remain comfortable? The irony of this is that the comfort you seek is an illusion because it keeps you stuck in a position that you are not comfortable with!
Perhaps starting today you could permit yourself to embrace imperfect action, knowing that when you are stepping out of your comfort zone discomfort is inevitable and necessary and every time you do this you are closer to that comfort you crave. Recognising that some discomfort is a good thing and that it’s just a sensation in the body that you can choose to embrace will enable you to take the steps you need to get closer to your goals. Every step is a step forward and permit yourself to start where you are, as you are. You may not have the perfect situation or all of the answers and that’s okay, just start. Celebrate the small wins one day at a time and allow space for failures, obstacles and letdowns without turning them into something insurmountable.
Always remember that inspiration is a choice, empowerment is a choice, and motivation is a choice. What are you going to choose?
Liberation is taking responsibility for your actions and freeing yourself from the restraints of your thoughts. Embrace discomfort, take action in all its imperfection and create the life you want for yourself and in doing so you will ultimately build trust within yourself which will inevitably lead to confidence.